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Thursday, December 20, 2012

End Of The World

Shut up.  What a load of dumb shit.  As if the world is going to end just because of some book/film/imaginary planetary alignment.

Hola, hermosa dama, es el fin del mundo, debemos hacer un buen uso del resto de nuestro tiempo que nos queda viva, vamos a volver a la mía y pasar un buen rato, sí puedes invitar a tus amigas otros también, puede mostrar un muy buen tiempo.

Monday, December 17, 2012

Enlightenment From Hull

I wouldn't normally consider a trip to Hull a week before Christmas but there was no way that I was going to miss my Grandma's 80th birthday disco, sharing with Maria Sharapova, Pete Tong's wife and the local bakery (according to the table line-up).  Oh and some nurses.

There is lots of enlightenment, as usual, to provide to my dear readers.

Firstly I would like to prepare you for the step back in time that I took, with the train from Doncaster.  Sadly too dark by this time to take photos from the train journey, but I do have one of inside the train.


Comfort and style.  Art deco I think?

I also discovered that apparently there are lots of Japanese visitors to the tourist attraction that is Hull, so many that they have warnings on the trains in Japanese.


Shops in Hull close at 530pm on the evening as people do not like working however it gave me enough time to buy some green trousers in H&M that I thought would be very suitable - though my mother deemed them totally unacceptable, apparently folk in Hull wear their very smartest clothes for a Christmas do in a chain pub.  I had forgotten how much the standards of dress have dropped down south.  She was actually expecting me to wear trousers and shirt - for a night out!  Seriously!

Anyway the next day and onto Hull City vs Huddersfield, a local derby and one that the police had moved back to a 12:30 kick-off when they realised I was coming back to Hull that weekend so ensuring I didn't have enough time to get drunk and start fights before the game with my legendary hooligan status.

I'm not sure who cares about how well Hull City played, but then again do you care about the modern look of the trains?  I am going to tell you anyway, not that you would expect anything else.

We scored early, played good football, had 27 amazing crosses from the right wing by an immigrant (yes someone who shall remain un-named advised me that because of all the immigrants the schoolchildren are now getting taught to speak "muslim") - conversation always turns to those dasterdly immigrants at some point.

I do not understand why people leave the game early.  The traffic in Hull is crap, leaving early makes no difference.  Plus they missed a fine second goal and a post-match fight.  Between the players, not the fans.

One thing that did amuse me was the amount of local shops which are adorning the Tiger's badge.


Those crazy immigrants again - now stealing the football club.  Oh wait a minute, they own it.

And then the highlight of my trip - the pole-dancing Wallaby.  The video is on my Facebook wall, I uploaded it on Saturday.

Only in Hull.

And then onto the party for my Grandma's 80th birthday - doesn't she look good?


I'll probably get a text to order me to take her photo off the internet!  Assuming someone tells her she is on there.

Anyway, the party I can only really describe as Club 18-80 Christmas Dinner.

The food, well, for a start - look at the gravy:


I do not need to comment further.

When I bit into the vegetables, a whole glass of water ran out.  The beef was well done, despite the DJ informing us it was medium-rare (he also advised that the music wasn't too loud, not that anybody could talk to anybody).  The yorkshire pudding was ok.  I heard someone say it was edible.  I grant it that status.

However this was not all - first we had, ok actually it was that shit that I cannot remember, then we had a contest where representatives of the tables would have to guess whether the track coming up would be Wonderwoman or Superman and make the appropriate body shape, until one person won a bottle of beer.  Woo fucking hoo.  Actually I remember the first one now, we had a noise making competition.  Loving the originality.

Oh what else was there, oh yeah people had to grab his bag of balls (balloons, ho ho) and sit on the balloons to burst them and then do the dare/drink/whatever it was - I do feel some slight sympathy for the member of staff who was snogged by a woman 4 times his size.

Do I need to go on?

I retired to the side bar to talk to my Uncle Peter about the price of beer.  And probably immigrants but I may have had too much to drink by then.

It was actually quite amusing in how dreadful it was and thankfully for my grandma's husbands 80th I hear it will not be repeated.

However I feel proud to have been there at my grandma's 80th birthday, I had a really good time and it was great to see all the family (that we still talk to) even if I did get compared to an upside-down carrot.

Oh and my grandma advised me that "I need to get at it a bit more".  She wants more than 2 great-grandchildren apparently.

Friday, December 07, 2012

Everything Is Good

I have not been blogging as much as normal recently.

But I have been really enjoying life.  I am in a super mood.  Why?

Well Ricardo at fabric and Sven at Cocoon the last two weekends are major contributors.  I might be in my 30's but no way I am anywhere near clubbing retirement, I could even see myself going more next year!

This weekend looks good, gravy tonight.  What more does a boy need?  And tomorrow night I am going to The Star Inn near Twyford for my good friend, Ben's, birthday drinks, and onto From Disco To Disco.

Speaking of which, one thing I have been working on recently is my long-promised website, Ubereadoolische, to help promote the underground scene in Reading.  It is a passion of mine and my future career plan is to do web design.  I appreciate the design itself is still fairly basic but I am learning from scratch in my own time.

Whether the website is a hit is kind of incidental as it is my project where I can test what I learn.

However I will be doing my best to create something special and this week I launched the features page with an interview of Ryan MacGregor, of From Disco To Disco fame.  All feedback appreciated, and suggestions/input, mixes, whatever.  It isn't just done for the selfish reason of my future portfolio.

Kind of also connected is I finally did my techno DJ mix that I have long threatened to do.  I am really happy with it, I know there are a couple of imperfections but I am loving listening to it.  I really think it takes you on a journey - Sven has been an excellent teacher.  I am sure my fellow DJ friends will appreciate how much more you can enjoy your own mixes from most other DJs.

It is called Pavement Cyclists.

Also planned is a trance mix, an 80's mix and a Christmas mix.  Maybe.

Really busy at work too, I am happier than I have been in a job for several years.  Really happy.

So all is good in the world of Winfield.  I just thought I should blog about how happy I am and how much I am loving life and I want you to feel the love too because I love my friends, family and dear readers very much - 100,000 page views not far away!!! xxx

Tuesday, December 04, 2012

Cocoon @ Great Suffolk Street with Sven, Cassy, Carl Craig & Onur Ozer

I bought my ticket in June for this.  I like to be prepared.

A mini-disaster nearly struck during the week when my wonderful clubbing partner announced that she would not be able to make it however I had bought my ticket so long ago that there was no pulling out for me.  I didn't want to go by myself but I was up for the adventure.

A slight side-track perhaps but beforehand I went to an all you can eat buffet place for dinner, and had lots of gravy.


Yes, even on dessert.

You can take the boy out of the north...

Anyway, come Saturday evening, my dancing partner was clearly feeling as inspired as my culinary creation and we made our way to London, to a new venue for both of us (clubbing by oneself is just not the same).

Having become very used to the middle-class comforts of fabric, neither of us were really sure what we were going to make of Great Suffolk Street Warehouse however it was a super venue, a bit cold away from the dancing areas but more than enough body heat to ensure coats could go in the well-run and secure cloakroom.

I was not impressed with the crap speakers at the Cocoon event with Sven at Brixton Electric that LWE ran earlier in the year, however I am delighted to say that they employed Funktion One speakers and they did the job.  I wonder if my constant pestering did the trick?!  Ideally there could have been some smaller stacks half-way down the main room, though I am not sure of the logistics of that as they would need to be guarded one would assume.

In fact the promoters, LWE can be delighted with their efforts, as can the venue, almost everything ran smoothly, there were no hiccups despite it being a large scale event in London, and there was a good crowd, no queue to get in, enough toilets, just about enough people working the bars...getting the logistics wrong can ruin what should be an excellent night, so definitely appreciated.

So onto the DJ's.

And there was an excellent choice on offer - Onur Özer is probably my favourite Turkish DJ, not that I can think of any others off the top of my head, and he played a clever warm-up set for Sven, starting off with deeper house but going into tech-house and slightly straying into techno territory in the hour before the man everyone was there to see.  Just as impressive as he was a fair few years ago when I saw him warm up for Sven at Cocoon Ibiza.

And the the main attraction, Sven Väth.  Very quickly into his set the acoustics were perfected and volume increased, and Sven quickly set about sending the dancefloor crazy, and it was off the hook at times.

Annoyingly, my friend and I lost each other less than an hour into Sven's set and spent around half the time looking for each other, myself going across the packed dancefloor many times, and my friend apparently going up and down the dancefloor - no reception on my mobile did not help matters.

In the end I just gave up and danced the rest of Sven's set away.  Albeit only lasting 3 hours - I never knew Sven did sets that short?!  Probably the shortest set out of the 20 or so times I have seen him.

And yes he was firing off techno monsters...thank you to whomever posted this video on Youtube.


Actually the one thing that could have been improved was the view of Sven.  A higher stage would have been welcomed so we could actually see him!  Only Sven am I bothered about seeing whilst he is DJing.

Great minds think alike and myself and my friend headed towards the bar the minute Sven finished to miraculously re-unite, and set about wandering the 3 dancefloors trying to settle on something, and we decided upon Cassy and Carl Craig, who we saw out until they finished around 5:30am.

It took a little while to get into them but they were both top notch, especially Carl Craig who was leading into classic techno territory with some absolute monsters, and he got on the microphone at the end to lead into the closing minutes - I don't recall seeing Carl Craig before although I probably have done, and he was class.  Top stuff.

It is very sad to see so many reports of thefts especially of mobile phones, however it is not just this event that has suffered as I have read many reports of events having been targeted by criminal gangs this year, both in London and Ibiza and I doubt that these are the only two locations suffering, I just happen to visit and read about parties in those places far more than anywhere else.

I constantly check my pockets during a night to make sure my belongings are there and try to keep an eye on whomever my dancing partner(s) to make sure they are not targeted.  I may consider just getting a cheap pay as you go phone if these scumbags are not dealt with as it isn't exactly necessary to have my smart phone at a nightclub - someone else will put pictures up and videos on Youtube, and most people are better at that than me anyway (my only photo of the night is one of the gravel) - and as if I need to check Facebook...I think not.

May I also suggest that people drop their phones on the floor a few times to achieve the artistically cracked look that I have on my new Samsung Galaxy S3.  I have a unique looking phone that nobody will want to steal because the sell-on value is much reduced thanks to the smashed screen.  Or get insurance.  Or just leave anything you don't need at home.

And look after each other.

A super enjoyable night overall, would definitely repeat it, worth an 8.5 out of 10.  Maybe even an 8.7.

By the way, the gravy-topped dessert was disgusting.